Hacía cinco años que ella e Iván se habían mudado a la casa de campo. Fue Evelina quien demoró la decisión, a pesar de haber sido ella la que lo propusiera. Tenía miedo de sí misma. Sabía que había una condición feroz en la llanura y que esa ferocidad cambiaría las dimensiones de lo que se llevara consigo. Sin embargo, enseguida se enamoró de la posibilidad de mirar de lejos. Convirtió la geografía en tiempo. Se sentía una maga adivinando el futuro. Y el futuro era un punto blanco que iba acercándose a la casa hasta convertirse en conejo. Siempre y cuando fuera antes del atardecer. Después de esa hora, no contaba más que consigo y debía acercarse a las cosas con el ojo miope de siempre.
La decisión implicaba irse y no tener que volver. Irse y no necesitar demasiado ni que la necesitaran, excepto Iván. De modo que implicaba también elegir que nunca nadie la llamara mamá. Llegó al campo esperando algo solo de la tierra: que le repitiera lo que la madre de la niña perversa del cuento de Clarice le dice a la otra niña: «Te quedas con el libro todo el tiempo que quieras» y que el libro también fuera un té con galletitas de limón, un jardín, el fresco de la parra, un sillón hamaca en la galería o una ventana. Pero para eso era necesario parir la propia vida y matar las mañas coleccionadas en la ciudad. A Iván, en cambio, le alcanzaban el silencio de la noche y los domingos enteros mirando los ojos de los perros o las diminutas flores azules que crecen espontáneas entre el césped.
Durante todo el año previo a la mudanza, Evelina gestó su vida: organizó lo que sería su forma de ganarse el pan desde el campo y eligió dónde descansaría los ojos el resto del día. Renunció a los trabajos en la ciudad y se concentró en el oficio de hacer traducciones particulares o para alguna editorial y, sólo cuando el pan se ponía duro, aceptaba hacerlas para algunas empresas. Una vez instalada, se ocupó de abastecer el sótano con quesos, fiambres y vinos; las alacenas con harina, huevos, grasa y azúcar y la biblioteca con más libros. Las frutas y las verduras se las ofrendaban la tierra y la lluvia. Y la casa le daba la ventana desde la que siempre quiso mirar el mundo. Ahí estaba su vida, aprendiendo a caminar.
Al principio volvía al pueblo casi todos los días, porque todavía creía que necesitaba algo, aunque a veces no supiera qué. Al cabo de un año, se limitó a movilizarse los miércoles. Ese día asistía un taller de filosofía y a otro de dibujo, aprovechaba para visitar brevemente a alguna amiga y para comprar cualquier cosa que les hiciera falta: clavos, sogas, lápices, cuadernos. Pero a medida que fueron pasando los años, apenas arrancaba la camioneta, sentía que algo le ataba las manos y los pies. El campo también sabía exigir, encantar y mentir. Y parecía que también sabía seleccionar a sus víctimas o a sus queridas. Con Iván no podía. Él tenía la liviandad suficiente como para ser feliz en cualquier lado.
Una tarde de la quinta primavera sonó el teléfono de Evelina. El número era desconocido, la característica también, la voz no. Era Lila, su amiga de la infancia. Evelina sintió que se le llenaba el cuerpo de conejos, como en el cuento de Cortázar.
―¡Eve, tanto tiempo! Me volví loca buscando tu número. Al final, conseguí el fijo de Paulina, que todavía vive allá. Ella me pasó el tuyo.
―¡Lila, Lila!―, repetía ella fuera del tiempo.
―El mes próximo tengo que viajar a Argentina. Quiero verte. Hace tanto…
―Treinta años, pronunció volviendo al presente.
―Me contó Paulina que te mudaste al campo.
―Sí. Vení a casa. Podés quedarte todo el tiempo que quieras.―, dijo, como adelantándole el mejor regalo que se le ocurrió en ese momento.
―El dos de octubre estaré allá.
―Cuando llegues al pueblo, llamame y te voy a buscar a la plaza.
Para ese encuentro en esa plaza, faltaban dos semanas. Evelina comenzó por cuidar el jardín. Quitó las hojas secas de cada planta, les puso fertilizante para que también ellas esperaran a Lila, lavó todos los almohadones de la casa y les devolvió su condición mullida a cada relleno, compró más vinos y granos de café y no se olvidó de las almendras con cáscara.
El primero de octubre la casa se llenó del olor noble del pan. Iván la ayudó a prender la leña para el horno de barro cuando volvió del trabajo, y asó las cebollas con las que rellenarían algunos de los panes. Las masas estaban leudando, ella también. Sentía en el vientre la ansiedad de todo viaje de regreso a un lugar que el tiempo ha empequeñecido pero no ha logrado demoler.
El día y los panes recién horneados empezaban a replegarse. Evelina sintió la urgencia de cerrar todas las ventanas de la casa. Lo hizo como quien se protege de una lluvia repentina. Y buscó enseguida la proximidad de Iván. Se quedaron largo rato en el sillón del living, comiendo pasas de uvas y escuchando a Chopin.
―Tenés algo malo en los ojos.
―¿Cómo algo malo?
―No sé, algo duro. Parecías tan contenta de que viniera tu amiga.
―Estoy contenta. Bueno, esa no es la palabra. No me gusta la palabra «contenta». No sé cómo estoy. La estoy esperando.
―Tampoco es nostalgia eso que tenés en los ojos.
―No, nostalgia no. No sé qué tengo.
―Pero querés que venga.
―Sí, ¿cómo no voy a querer? A lo mejor es que estoy acostumbrada a nuestra soledad.
―Pero son unos días nomás. Es lindo que algo nos cambie la rutina.
―No me gusta la palabra «lindo», ya sabés. Y la palabra «rutina» menos.
―Estás irritable.
―Puede ser. Pero no es malo lo que tengo.
―No sé… ¿Necesitás que te ayude con algo más o que traiga algo mañana del pueblo?
―No. Ya está todo listo.
―Me voy a acostar, entonces.
―Que descanses. Yo me quedo terminando un trabajo así mañana a primera hora lo entrego y el fin de semana estoy libre.
El aire del dos de octubre era espeso y caluroso como una fiebre. Evelina abrió las ventanas para ventilar la casa pero enseguida tuvo que cerrarlas. El tufo arruinaba el ambiente. A las tres de la tarde sonó el teléfono. Su amiga estaba en la plaza. Ese día arrancó la camioneta sin la sensación de que algo le apretara las manos ni los pies. La distinguió de lejos. Llevaba puesto un vestido blanco de mangas cortas con escasos lunares color té. Otra vez la imagen del punto blanco. Y también en esa ocasión el punto se convirtió en conejo. Ahí estaba Lila con sus ojos color almendra, color rojizo por momentos, y su piel intacta, quiso pensar Evelina. «Intacta: nadie la tocó».
Se subió a la camioneta. Se abrazaron en esa intimidad precaria e improvisada. Durante el viaje hacia el campo, Lila sacaba la cabeza por la ventanilla buscando viento. Sus cabellos se movían como las ramas de los plátanos. Cuando llegaron, el tufo lo invadía todo. Evelina preparó un aperitivo con limón, menta y unas gotas de granadina. Al rato, se largó a llover. Ambas sintieron la dicha de lo que refresca. Salieron a la galería que enseguida se llenó de ranas hermosas, verdísmas, chillonas. Croaban con tal fuerza que parecían querer impedir la conversación. Se rieron. Ya eran dos niñas.
―¿Cómo es posible que nunca más nos hayamos comunicado?–, dijo Lila.
―Nos dejamos tragar por la tierra.
Y la llanura les tragó las bocas, las lenguas. Hasta que Lila preguntó:
―No vivís sola en esta casa, ¿no?
―No, con Iván. En cualquier momento llega.
―¿Cómo con Iván?
―Sí, con Iván.
A Lila se le estiraron las comisuras hacia los costados. De pronto parecía una rana más en la galería. Pero no hizo falta croar fuerte para detener las palabras de Evelina. Estaban paradas en ese punto de la conversación cuando llegó él, sonriente, liviano, como siempre. Se sumó a la ronda. Entonces sí hablaron de los trabajos y de las formas de los días. Hasta que las abandonó para darse una ducha. Evelina aprovechó la recobrada intimidad para traer el cuenco con las almendras y un cascanueces. Lila las recibió con un gesto viejo que le cubría toda la cara.
―Con eso no. Busquemos una piedra para partirlas.
―¿No te importa que esté lloviznando?
―Sabés que no.
Lila caminaba entre los paraísos, los ciruelos, los nísperos. De vez en cuando quebraba el cuello hacia atrás y abría la boca para tragar lluvia. Las dos estaban húmedas y brillantes como las ranas de la galería. También las dos eligieron en el mismo momento la misma piedra. Se agacharon. Se rozaron las pieles. Se miraron como se miraban cuando iban en bicicleta al río a contemplar el agua y a comer almendras. Respiraban con agitación. Evelina largó una gran cantidad de aire por la boca y bajó la vista. Sintió que era su casa la que de pronto quedaba demasiado lejos. Lila supo cuidarla.
―Volvamos, nos estamos empapando.
Tenía algo feroz Evelina en las manos cuando regresaron. Rompía las cáscaras de las almendras contra el mármol de la mesa sin ninguna dificultad. Estallaban los diminutos caparazones, volaban astillas. Evelina se llevaba a la boca los corazones de almendras con movimientos abismados. Lila la miraba y sonreía mansa, como la llanura.
Cuando empezó a anochecer, Iván prendió la leña y asó papas, batatas y cerdo. Evelina descorchó un vino y lo deslizó en el decantador. Cenaron hablando de los teatros del mundo en los que Lila había disfrutado las óperas, los ballets y las sinfónicas que ellos devoraban en discos; de las plazas de los poblados europeos, de las especias con las que engañan la vida por allá. Después la invitaron a moler café. El aroma y el clima de exquisita comodidad le trajeron la certeza de que estaba en un hogar. Disfrutaron la intensidad de ese sabor americano sentados en la alfombra del living entre almohadones que imitaban el color de las naranjas, de la arena, de las turquesas.
―Las dejo charlar. Me voy a acostar.
―Quedate todo el tiempo que quieras.―, dijo Evelina. Y recordó que le había regalado esas mismas palabras a Lila, cuando hablaron por teléfono. Era eso lo que deseaba. Tenerlos cerca a ambos, todo el tiempo o fuera del tiempo. Eso: dejar que la vida transcurriera, partiendo almendras y moliendo granos de café, envuelta en la mansedumbre de Lila, envuelta en la liviandad de Iván.
Pasaron la madrugada sin hablar de lo que cada una había hecho de su vida durante los treinta años en los que no se comunicaron. A ninguna de las dos les importaba. Preferían nombrar árboles, olores, caminos. Estaban retomando la conversación que habían abandonado en el río. Ambas tenían esa sensación de continuidad, de algo que había sido imposible soltar, algo puro, genuino, noble, como el trigo, como un conejo, como una almendra, como una mano que acaricia a alguien que tiembla.
Amanece en toda la llanura. Lila decide regresar al hotel de Rosario. En lugar de decir adiós, pronuncia abrazándola para siempre:
―¿Estás bien?
Evelina no pudo contestar. «Bien» era otra de las palabras que no le gustaban. Era una de esas palabras lánguidas, cobardes, mezquinas. Le miró hondo los ojos almendrados y rojizos de conejo y recordó que alguien le dijo alguna vez que la cicuta tiene un aroma parecido al de las almendras.
[Cuento incluido en nuestra cuarta revista]
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