Mientras escribo estas líneas casi sin destino, a pocas horas de rendir mi última materia para terminar el profesorado, viene a mí como un pulpo que me abraza por detrás, aquellos días los únicos tal vez, cuando ir a la escuela en lugar de parecerme una tortura cotidiana fueron horas, momentos y recuerdos de verdaderos espacios de satisfacción.
No recuerdo con precisión la primera vez que la vi. Supongo que fue a mediados del otoño, cuando la veterana profesora que tenía se tomó unos meses de licencia, nunca supimos si fue por una enfermedad, por algún problema familiar o simplemente porque ya no aguantaba un curso de treinta alumnos revoltosos que no hacíamos más que quejarnos y hablar entre nosotros. Siempre fuimos respetuosos. A lo mejor un poco dispersos, pero siempre manteníamos aquel mandato familiar de que el docente era sagrado y se lo tenía que respetar por más que su materia fuera un plomo.
Calculo que a finales del mes de abril entró por primera vez y a los pocos minutos me invadió una sensación que por aquellos años no pude saber de qué se trataba. Y a lo mejor ahora tampoco lo pueda explicar del todo. Aquel día entró por la puerta del aula, el preceptor la presentó y nos dijo que iba a ser la profesora que reemplazara a Elsa, que ahora que lo pienso pobre mujer que paciencia que tuvo para aguantarnos tanto tiempo y no meternos a todos amonestaciones colectivas. Algún remordimiento he tenido pensando en que le habríamos causado algún pico de estrés o la hubiéramos vuelto un poco loca.
Cruzó la puerta vestida con un saco largo, pantalón negro, zapatos que le hacían juego y una mochila gris que a lo mejor cargaba con la esperanza y nervios de los primeros pasos de la profesión. Su pelo oscuro y lacio custodiaba aquellos hombros anchos. Era alta de caderas anchas y brazos largos, pero había dos cosas que me llamaron la atención: sus ojos negros y el perfecto dibujo de su sonrisa. Perdí los primeros cuatro meses estudiando sus gestos. Sabía que cuando se enojaba o nos mandábamos alguna que no le gustaba, se paraba de forma recta y nos miraba fijo y en algún caso golpeaba el pizarrón con el borrador. Sabía que cuando hacíamos un buen trabajo, se ponía contenta y nos regalaba alguna de sus muecas y halagos. Llegué a la conclusión que al cruzar la puerta de entrada todos los miércoles tenía tres formas de saludar: “Buen día, chicos”, “Hola, ¿cómo andan?” y a veces con un simple “hola”. En pocas ocasiones cambiaba el saludo.
Siempre fui un desastre en la escuela. No dudo al decir que no me gustaba estudiar, muchos menos aprender ecuaciones con doble x, ejercicios de química y de física para llegar a conclusiones que nunca sabía para que servían. Pero siempre fui un lector voraz y dinámico, leía todo lo que podía en desmedro de descuidar las materias que no me gustaba, total sabía que me las iba a terminar llevando para marzo y las iba a rendir bien. Por eso me dedique a mirar detalladamente de la profesora Julieta, como dijo que se llamaba. Los miércoles se convirtieron en días sagrados no porque está a mitad de la semana, sino que era los días que teníamos clases con ella.
El uniforme, o lo que parecía un uniforme siempre me quedaba desprolijo, eran contados los días en los cuales podía hacerme el tiempo para arreglarme un poco, casi como un mandamiento de la irresponsabilidad llegaba sobre la hora y siempre andaba a las corridas. Desayunaba y salía apurado a la escuela que me quedaba a pocas cuadras (que desgracia es eso de vivir cerca del edificio que disciplinariamente tenes que ir todos los días, era muy difícil faltar, ni en los días de lluvias me podía dar ese lujo de dormir hasta tarde. Y con lo lindo que es dormir con lluvia) el acné que me empezaba a salir me convertía en un choclo disfrazado de estudiante. Y así y todo me deje llevar por ese no sé qué. Pero nada importaba, como si sabiendo de antemano que aquellos días los tendría presentes en mi memoria, un cuarto de siglo después como en esta tarde en un bar, frente a un vaso de cerveza fría y con las responsabilidades de la vida adulta. Pero hay grietas en el tiempo de esta etapa de mi vida me permiten esbozar aquello que la selectiva memoria de las personas aflora lentamente como un amanecer, pero que rápidamente se escurren entre los dedos como hilos de agua.
Las primeras horas en la escuela siempre fueron aburridas. Luego del primer recreo eran las horas que la profesora Julieta esgrimía sus conocimientos. En ella su risa, era algo así como parte de su identidad, nunca hubo términos medios en sus palabras ya que sus clases se dividía entre masticados monosílabas y prolongadas exposiciones. Coloreaba con ellos los días de mi vida y eso para mí fue un cataclismo de sentimientos.
Su profesión era fundada en la alegría. La indiferencia o desinterés de mis compañeros de aquellos años, le era tan insoportables como una puñalada y era inconfundible su manera de dar ánimos para estudiar y ser mejores de lo que éramos. Ella nos escuchaba y nosotros la escuchábamos a ella, era un acuerdo no firmado pero que se desarrolló con el tiempo. Hablaba como si sus palabras supieran y sintieran el aire que respira el otro. No sólo fue una constructora de optimismos, sino también que ayudó a construir optimismos a sus tremendos alumnos. A nosotros, que muchas veces teníamos ganas de ir a jugar a la pelota en la mitad de la mañana, en vez de escuchar a alguien con mayor o menos atención. Con la profesora Julieta, las cosas eran distintas porque su concepción del arte, de la docencia y de la vida, estuvo siempre a favor de la felicidad y alejado de todo tipo de frustraciones y dogmatismos. Esa era la diferencia que puedo entender recién ahora.
Su optimismo y buena energía eran incurables. Un antídoto para todos los males que nos inyectaba los miércoles y que duraba hasta el siguiente martes y luego se volvía otra dosis. Y eso nos trasmitió y nos partió como un trueno. Me lo hizo experimentar en primera persona, ya que era de madera para todo o para casi todas las asignaturas. Me esforcé tanto aquellos meses que conseguí convencer a mi compañera Florencia que me cambie el lugar y poder sentarme más cerca del escritorio, así la podía ver más de cerca. Calculo que no habrá tenido más de treinta años, pero eso es un dato fáctico que poco importa.
Con el paso del tiempo, no puedo juzgar, ni tengo la capacidad de calificar con exactitud el nivel epistemológico de sus clases, ni tampoco me interesa. Sino que ella me hizo experimentar al menos dos cosas que hasta el momento no había sentido: ponerme rojo de vergüenza cuando una mujer me hablaba y reencontrarme años después con lo que estudié y estoy a punto de recibirme. Quiso el azar o el destino quiso que ella fuese mi modelo a seguir. Y mi modelo de enamoramiento perfecto e imperfecto a la vez.
Terminó su reemplazo en diciembre, antes que cierren las notas definitivas y era la única materia y el único de la clase que era merecedor de un diez. Pero ese también es otro dato puntual, si comparamos que me terminé llevando la misma cantidad de materias que años anteriores y como en esas instancias aprobé con facilidad y con la mecánica de practicar varios ejercicios y aprenderme algunas fórmulas de memoria.
Creo que Elsa se sorprendió de mi rendimiento. Y al decir verdad, yo también me sorprendí de esa nota. No por la calificación en sí, porque nunca me resultó de interés sacarme la nota más alta, ya que a la larga terminaba aprobando sin dificultad. Pero sí porque al menos de alguna manera estuve por un instante en su mente para que me ponga esa nota.
Nunca más volví a saber de la profesora Julieta. Ese caluroso diciembre terminó su reemplazo y volvió por pocas clases por suerte, la fastidiosa de Elsa. A muchos nos sorprendió su abandono de un día para el otro. Pero ahora que lo pienso creo que fue lo mejor, porque desconozco como hubiera resistido a semejante noticia.
Con el tiempo es muy probable que se nos borren las imágenes de los docentes que tuvimos, de los detalles de su cara, de sus nombres y hasta de su forma de dar clases. Pero de aquellos que dejaron una huella indeleble en nuestro mundo emocional, no. Son personas, rostros, portadoras de historias, que no quedan encerrados en el oscuro cofre de los recuerdos, sino por el contrario laten silenciosamente en el interior nuestro, hasta que en determinados momentos nos queman como brasas al rojo vivo y se convierten en llamas imposibles de apagar. Y Julieta fue una de ella.
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